Advice About Couples Counselling from Skylark Best Vancouver Counsellors and Therapy Clinic
When people are in a long-term relationship, unless you are with your perfect partner who does and says everything right, which is rarely the scenario, you may go through some ups and downs. It could be because of several different reasons, either there is a communication gap or a trauma in the family that can take a toll on the couple or simply work-related stress that is projected on each other.
Whatever the reasons, waiting for it to get worse is not the recommended course of action. When you start seeing the “red flags” in a relationship i.e. when things start going wrong or aren’t as good as they should be, seeking an expert’s advice is one of the solutions to helping fix things.
For some, going for couples counselling may feel like a daunting and nervous idea. this may be because when you are sitting in front of the counsellor, and know that things are not perfect, it can be hard to admit your faults or open up to a stranger. It can be scary and tough. If you have never been through therapy it may take a lot of effort on the part of both involved in the relationship.
Many people don’t feel the need to see a couple’s therapist until it is too late. Some doubt that their problem can be resolved, while others don’t have the funding or the drive to go to one, however, there are many free resources that you can find in your local area that have volunteer counsellors who are ready and willing to lend a helping hand towards trying to fix any issues between people.
If you are not sure what a counsellor is supposed to do, this link can tell you more about them. The basic idea is that they work in a confidential setting with people who may be experiencing some personal difficulties and they will work together with them to help them find ways to better the issues and overcome any personal problems in addition to helping them make the right changes to their lifestyles, mentality and outlook.
To help you figure out if it is time for you to see a therapist, we have included a few common issues that people in relationships go through that can be taken to a professional to help solve.
When you walk into a home that is ridden with conflict, the best thing to do is seek help. In many relationships, things always seem perfectly fine the first few years or months, and when arguments happen seldom it may be fine, but when the frequency starts to increase from ‘small’ conflicts to bigger ones, you should know something needs to be done to help find that peace again.
Blowouts can get bigger over time if not handled correctly. In cases where children are involved, it can affect them negatively as well. If you start seeing a pattern of increased conflicts in and around the house or out in public, you should find a solution as soon as possible.
The majority of issues stem from underlying issues and get projected onto the other party. Some may not know this, and sometimes it may be too late before anyone figures this out. Dealing with it with a counsellor is the right direction to take.
When the Trust Factor Has Been Broken
According to the popular digital magazine Women's Health, one of the three reasons why couples get a divorce is because of a lack of trust, emotional baggage from past relationships as well as a difference or change in their values: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a32019433/reasons-for-divorce/
Seen as a common issue on a regular basis, is one of trust. This has been brought up by individuals time and time again by those who need help when it has been broken by either one of the parties or both of them in a relationship. It could be anything from having an emotional affair to infidelity, deception, and lies about money, and many other things.
Rebuilding a strong foundation of trust can be difficult if you try and do it yourself, as it takes time, effort and both people should be willing and able to do it. But when it becomes difficult to do, especially because of the element of vulnerability. The only other solution is to seek help from an expert who can show you how to do it the right way.
Poor or Lack of Communication
We have heard it time and time again about how communication is key to a fruitful marriage. However, no matter how many times we may have heard it, it isn’t necessarily only that, but also how you communicate and if you do it enough. People who constantly feel ignored, or even worse, misunderstood tend to fall under this common problem.
Often people start to change their behavior over time without saying anything, and when the partner sees this, they get confused, scared, and irritated. You can seek help from the right type of services such as Skylark best counsellors in Vancouver for example, that offers both couples and relationships help to help strengthen and heal things so both individuals can move together forward. There is nothing worse than not knowing what is going on with someone else unless they spell it out for you, and this is often not the case.
In many cases, this isn’t the scenario and it starts to make things worse because a lot of assumptions start to take place. One of the more tangible outcomes, when you see an expert, is an increase in communication, as well as the quality of it. A skilled person will know how to give the right advice for people to practice, as well as have the right tools to help couples seek that understanding and connection once again, slowly but surely, no matter how long it takes.
Your Gut Feeling Tells You Otherwise
Do you know that saying that has to do with ‘following your gut’? Another common issue on this topic is that when couples start to feel in their gut that something is not right, but they are not sure what it is, it may be an indication that you need outside help to figure it out if nothing has been explained by either party.
Sometimes people start to see differences in the person while in their marriage, the dynamic can change because of this and you find yourself questioning why this happening. If either party doesn’t discuss it or play open cards, an underlying resentment starts to build up, which leads to worse things.
We hope the above common issues gives you a better idea of where you sit on the specter of having to see a counsellor or not.